With bad teeth: Nothing says I-can't-pay-a-sober-man-to-kiss-me like missing front teeth. If you have lost one of your front six teeth, you must immediately 1) start brushing your teeth; 2) invest in a helmet; or 3) lay off the meth pipe.
With bad hair extensions: If your hair looks like you pasted it in during a bad LSD trip in the dark, it's probably a good idea to take out your hair extensions, stop abusing your own hair and grow it out. You're not fooling anyone.
Showing off a case of rampant cellulite: It's a fact of life that nearly all women have some degree of cellulite on their lower half -- whether it's a few tiny dimples or a blackberry-like texture -- we're all cursed. HOWEVER, if your butt looks like it should be painted orange and placed in the nearest fruit bowl, it's probably time to stop showing it off, do something about it or wear some freakin' clothes.
Viva La Diva
2 comments:
I agree that there are things we can do to not be at our most unattractive. However, I think the teeth thing is mean. I am an attractive woman but last summer my 5 year old's head slammed into my mouth. It knocked out my front tooth. I've not opened my mouth in public for 11 months now.
Imagine NEVER opening your mouth..even when people are speaking to you. I'm certain everyone in town things I'm the rudest, snobbiest person on earth.
I'm not. Neither am I vain. I just know the world looks at it the way that you do.. it's hill-billyish.. or they must not have brushed their teeth. Etc. Unfortunately, as a single mom with 6 kids to take care of.. I have no way of fixing it. So I'll live my life in silence so that the world doesn't have to look at me.
ummmm....not mean. This blog is written in jest. I hope you get your tooth fixed. In the meantime, you might follow my suggestion of investing in a helmet. I have a bunch of boys and wouldn't be caught without mine for the very same reason.
Diva
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