Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: NO! 35 children are enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What's the most reliable method to determine my baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's irrational.
A: So, what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you are pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room with my wife while she is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
1 comment:
I laughed so hard reading that entry I had tears running down my face... thanks so much I needed that!
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