Diva Survey

What is the most random object around you? A large bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Looking for the truck that ran me over in my sleep and performing a close up inspection of the inside of my toilet.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Still looking for the truck.

Last person you saw? My 6 year old, as he ran to find my husband screaming, "SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN!!!"

Do you like your life as of now? In general, you bet... right this minute I'm forced to spend too much time inspecting porcelain and hunting down trucks to like much of anything.

Last thing you purchased? Large bottle of Pepto Bismol, 24 pack of Charmin.

Four words to explain why you last threw up? Uh... Hellifino, Divine Retribution?

How’s your mood lately? Surly, pathetic, weepy.

Where did your last hug take place? From my two year old, after bed time stories last night, in his bedroom.

What are your plans for the weekend? Anything that doesn't involve looking for trucks or inspecting porcelain.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? Once, but the yellow teeth, bad smell, and foul taste kept me from trying it twice. It also cured me of that curiosity I used to have regarding licking ashtrays...

Are you tired right now? Oh, yes.

Do you chew on your straws? What kind of asinine question is that?

What’s your favorite room in your house? My office. It has soundproof walls and a deadbolt.

How many children do you plan on having? The three boys I already have -- Did I mention the deadbolt and soundproof walls in my office?

Have you stolen anything in the past month? Does the pen with the giant spoon taped to it from the grocery store check-out counter count? Or the extra 4 mints from the bowl when leaving the restaurant? The pack of gum from my teenager's dresser? How about the...

Is your hair curly or straight? Depends on the day and whether I've kissed anyone who smokes.

Who was at your house last? The grocery delivery man and my mother-in-law. They did not arrive or leave together.

Where is your first love? In witness protection.

Are you able to climb a chain link fence? -- With or without the stilettos?

Who’s car were you in last? Mine.

What did you do last Thursday night? Classified, cannot divulge.

What are you wearing right now? -- Who is this??! (click.) Black tank top, white jammie bottoms, and a bad case of bed head.

Where did you sleep last night? On the nice, comfortable, cold tile floor of my bathroom.

Who was the last person to tell you they love you? My husband ...through the crack under the bathroom door.

Are you ashamed of your past? Does this include incidents involving xerox machines, hastily sent emails, or bartenders named Matthew?

Where is your phone? I don't care.

Do looks matter? Is the Pope Catholic?

Do you trust people? Only the ones that are under 6 years old, haven't done time in prison, don't own more than 4 cats and/or don't wear clown makeup.

How long did it take you to fill out this survey? 10 very long minutes.