The Uniform of the Non-Diva...

I've been wearing the same dowdy, worn out uniform for a couple of years now, and I think it has substantially contributed to my feelings of unfabulousness. You know the one. Yes you do. I know you know all about it because you probably own the same one or some version of it.

"The Uniform" consists of the clothing that currently fits (probably a few sizes larger than you (ahem!)wish you were), it feels comfortable to wear and it can easily hide all evidence of a headfirst dive into a tall stack of buttermilk pancakes... you know, the old reliables that aren't particularly attractive but you just can't stop yourself from wearing them. Sound familiar?

I'm stuck in an unfashionable rut. I have 3-4 favorite outfits - all outdated, threadbare, and just downright overworn. What makes this especially sad, is I have an entire walk-in closet of clothes that "almost" fit.

I justify wearing the dowdy rags by telling myself I don't really go anywhere, no one cares if I wear the same things... and I lie to myself that no one notices anyway.

Believe me, nothing says sexy like those "slimming" black slacks you like to wear with stretched out knees and a sagging butt that could walk themselves to the nearest wastebasket. Believe me, EVERYONE notices the sweatpants with the faded ass from the nightly sofa surfing that inexplicably never find their way to the laundry hamper and have a spot of white paint on the thigh from the project you did five years ago. And nothing says I-have-self-esteem-issues like the men's oversized sweatjacket you wear over the top of everything, zipped to the neck with worn elbows.

I've even received money from well-meaning relatives for Chrismases and Birthdays the last few years to "shop for something you need" -- their way of saying "BUY SOME DECENT CLOTHES BAGLADY!" or "If I see that faded t-shirt one more time I'm burning it myself!"

In case you're still pretending you don't know what I'm talking about...



Does this look familiar? Have you seen something similar on someone you know... maybe, intimately?... maybe you???!

In the spirit of rediscovering my inner fierceness I am throwing away, burning up, donating to charity, or otherwise getting rid of my middle-aged baglady uniform and slowly replacing it with clothes I can feel proud to wear on my figure that is currently in the process of getting more trim and toned by the week... clothing I can actually feel like a woman wearing, instead of being mistaken for the butch mayor of a small town called Dowdy in the State of Soccer Momville.

Comment, ladies, comment if you dare... I want to hear all about your worst "uniform (s)" and if you are willing to follow my lead and rid your closets of all of the rags that camouflage your fabulousness.

Out with the old, in with the new...
The Diva

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